Latter Day Bride magazine!!

A couple of weeks ago I was looking at Naomi Masina's blog and stumbled acrossed a couple of posts that she did about our wedding. She was our photographer for our wedding and we absolutely LOVE her!! Not only does she take amazing photo's but she is one of the coolest people in the world. Anyways, then I saw a post on her blog about us in the Latter Day Bride magazine. (Here is the link to her blog, it is amazing:) http://www.omiphotoblog.com/2011/01/afton-zach-wedding-story-published.html) I had no idea that we were even in it! Haha it was such a funny moment, I kind of spazzed! 

When we were very first married she told us that she was going to submit our photos to them and we filled out this short questionnaire. We never heard anything back so we just figured that they weren't going to use it and then didn't think twice about it. Well what a surprise it was to stumble across this post of hers and see that we were in it and that it had been out for a while. So I went online to latterdaybride.com and ordered a few copies. We were in the 2011 edition and it just tells a little bit about our love story. 

I am so glad that we have it written down. There were little things that I had already forgotten about and laughed so hard again reading them. It will be fun for our kids to read and I'm sure Zack and I will have fun reading it in 40 or so years remembering everything again:) 

Elliana is 12 weeks old:)

Our beautiful daughter is 12 weeks old today! And I have to say, that I have learned more about life and love in the last 12 weeks then my whole entire life combined. Being a mom has changed so much. It has changed my outlook on life and how I look at everyone and everything. I don't think anything can prepare you for how much you are going to love your child. I had heard that before, but I didn't realize just HOW MUCH  I would love her and that sometimes that can love can make things harder. What I mean is, well since Sunday we put Elliana in her own room and I didn't realize how hard that would be on me.

Ever since she was born we had her in a playard right next to the bed so I could literally just reach my hands over and get her. We had decided when she was born that when she was about 3 months old we would transition her into her own room. So Sunday night was that dreaded night that we had decided to make that move. Being a little ignorant we thought lets just stick her in there and see how she does. Ok now let me preface that with saying that I had been putting her in her own room for a while now for her naps so she was pretty much used to sleeping in there, but what we hadn't realized is that we had been creating a bad habit with her. When she would sleep we would put the monitor on and anytime we heard her fuse at all, we would run (and I mean literally I would run, I considered it my work out:) and as quickly as possible put her binki back in. We thought we were being helpful, but Sunday night proved to us why that was such a bad idea. 

So Sunday night we had the monitor up in our room almost as loud as it could go. My reasoning was I wanted to be able to hear everything and be there as soon as she needed me. Suffice it to say that I did not sleep even a minute that night. It was awful. It was almost worse then when she was a newborn. Every 2 seconds we were running in and putting her binki in her mouth. So Monday I was a walking zombie and was pretty frustrated. I then turned to, "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." This book was recommended to me by my sister Autumn. She had used it with her kids and I have to say that her kids are the best sleepers in the world! They literally ask for bed and usually sleep 12 hrs. Now I had read this book when Elliana was first born and it helped me get her on a good eating schedule, but then I had stopped, thinking I would pick it back up as Elliana got older and I needed to learn more. So anyways I fast forward to the sleeping section and found out what we were doing wrong. 

Now the reason I love this book is because she takes such a "middle" approach. Anyway we were rushing in right away and not letting her learn how to self sooth and sleep without her binki. She naturally would spit out her binki when she fell asleep, but then she would realize that she didn't have it and fuss and wake up. So Monday we had to learn how to let her cry:( She would cry for about 5 minutes and then we would go in and reassure her and give her her binki. And oh my gosh, that literally was the hardest thing ever. I have been around babies my whole life and thought that this wouldn't be that difficult for me, but it was. Seeing her sad makes me so sad. I definitely was the mom that cried when she got her immunizations. Monday was tortures. But then that night Elliana already was doing sooooo much better. That night she didn't even really need her binki. We had to go in and sooth her a couple of times, but she would never cry longer than 10 minutes and then she would fall asleep. She slept for a good 8 hrs, ate and then slept another 5 (without her binki and without us going in and putting it back in). I was amazed. And then the same thing happened last night! She is learning how to fall asleep on her own! This book is so amazing, but one thing I really love is she explains WHEN you need to put your baby down. There is this window of time when your baby tries to give you clues that let you know they are tired. She says to put them down as soon as you see those clues, while they are awake so they know where they are and they learn how to fall asleep in there. For the past 3 days I have been putting her down, fully awake, but knowing that she is tired and within minutes she is asleep on her own. 

Now I know there are still going to be hard nights and it is still a work in progress, but I am just to happy with how its going so far. Its still really hard for me to hear her cry, knowing that I could go in and make it better, but I'm learning too. 

This morning Zack said that he had read a really good article that was in the Ensign this month and thought that I would like it. It's by Mark D. Ogletree and it is called "Helping without Hovering." Now, yes, I do have the best husband in the world and yes I know I am the luckiest:) Anyways it is an amazing article. I think every parent or anyone who is becoming a parent should read this. I learned so much from it. I never thought that it would be hard for me to let me children learn on their own and go through heartache and pain. I know she is still just a baby, but through this process of "sleep training" I'm learning so much about myself. This article helped me realize the wisdom in letting them go through trials and have setbacks and to not swoop in and fix everything right away. This is an article that I will keep and have to read over and over again as Elliana grows up and as we have more children.  

This is a quote thats in the article that I love. Its by James E. Faust and he said, "In my opinion, the teaching, rearing, and training of children requires more intelligence, intuitive understanding, humility, strength, wisdom, spirituality, perseverance, and hard work than any other challenge we might have in life." Ogletree closes with this, "As parents help their children make righteous decisions by letting them experience natural consequences, they will foster strong, independent, spiritually minded leaders in the kingdom. It takes courage, faith, spiritual sensitivity, patience, and persistence, but the rewards are eternally worth it." 

It's not always easy, but being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And thank goodness for other wise parents who have tried and learned and write about their experiences so I can learn how to become a better parent. 

Elliana's blessing

Last Sunday, March 4, was such an amazing day! It was the day that Elliana was blessed by her dad. It was one of those days that makes you realize how blessed you are. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband, my beautiful daughter and my testimony in the gospel. There is nothing better than seeing all of your family (over 100 in all:) come together just for your little family. Watching all of the men go up and hold my baby and bless her brought tears that I could not control. What a wonderful day that I will remember forever!

8 weeks old!

Wow! Today Elliana is 8 weeks old! It went so fast and at the same time feels like she's been here forever. I feel so blessed. She is such a good baby. It's hard to describe how good she is, but I'll try:) 

Elliana:

*Is such a happy baby. Some people don't believe me, but she really smiled when she was only 3 days old! It honestly wasn't a gas smile, it was her genuine, full smile and it was in response to us smiling and talking to her. Everyone who was around her when she was first born, saw it and witnessed that amazing and beautiful smile. Since then the smiles have only increased. It probably is my most favorite thing in the entire world, to just sit and talk and smile with her. And lately she is trying SO hard to talk back. She moves her tongue frantically and makes all kinds of sounds. It is the cutest thing. She makes so many sounds and coo's all the time. 

This was 4 days after she was born!

This was 5 days after:)

*Can usually just be wrapped up tight, given her binky and put in her bed and she can fall asleep on her own. 

*Lately has started sleeping from 8:30 pm -3:30 am! An amazing 7 hrs!

This was this morning when I went in to get her:) So happy all the time!

*Can stand really well. It's kind of crazy, but with only a little assistance from us, she can stand up. Her legs are extremely strong (which I knew from when she was in my belly and bruised my ribs from her strong legs).

*Since she was born has this little dramatic cough that she does when she is about to cry or just wants attention. It's hard to describe, it's this short cough almost like clearing your throat. It is hilarious. Sometimes I just laugh and it makes her more mad:)

*Absolutely loves her bath. It is her favorite time of the day. She has never cried during bath time. Just lays there and smiles so big. She's just like her mommy like that. I love taking a bath or shower, it's my favorite. 

*She also loves getting her diaper changed. As soon as she's dirty, she lets me know, she doesn't like to sit in a dirty diaper:) 

*LOVES her binky! Thank goodness, because when she was first born she would not take a binky. I brought several different kinds of binkie's to the hospital for her to try and we tried all of them and she would gag and cry and spit them out. I thought we were doomed! I tried almost everyday and it was always the same reaction. Then finally one day after we had moved to Utah (she was about 4 weeks) my sister Autumn told me that her girls only took "mam" binkies and that was the only kind that I had not tried yet. So I immediately went to the store and bought some, and as soon as I put it in her mouth she just started sucking away!! It was like Christmas, we could not believe it! And it is the funniest thing now. She sucks on that binky like her life depends on it sometimes. 

*Makes me love things about myself that I had never even thought twice about before. Features like her eyebrows, are definitely mine. Her unattached earlobes, because Zack has attached and I have unattached. Her chin is my chin, because Zack has a bum chin and I love it, but Elliana didn't get it. And just things like that. It's fun to see how her features are developing and to see who she looks like. 

*When we are sitting on the couch and I lay her a certain way so she can see this picture of Zack and I that hangs on the wall above the couch, she just lays there and smiles and stares. We love it! She honestly smiles so big and can stay there for like 20 minutes, just staring at our picture.

*Is the all time cutest stretcher in the world! Every time you pick her up or after she is done eating, she stretches so big and it is adorable. She arches so big and always puts her left hand up and rubs her eye and is so cute that I have to refrain from squeezing her:)

*If she gets fussy in the car the way to calm her down is to first make sure she has her binky and then give her my hand. She'll reach up with both arms and just grab whatever fingers she can and that's how we ride in the car. Although a lot of the time my arm falls asleep and kills afterwards, it is all worth it to just ride in the car holding my daughters hands:)

I could go on and on all about her. She is cuter and better than I could have ever imagined. She makes me so incredibly happy! Being a mom honestly is the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I have ever done. 

Elliana Skye Wilson!!!

I finally have a few minutes to update my blog and talk about my beautiful little girl. Wow I don't even know where to start... Since I last wrote our family grew from 2 to 3 and we moved from Arizona to Utah! Both huge events and both happened within just weeks of each other. But I'll start with Elliana's birth. 

So Christmas passed and I breathed a huge sigh of relief that she didn't come on Christmas. Then 2 days later, the 27th , I woke up and thought that my water was leaking. I didn't know for sure. It sounds kind of strange but I just didn't know if my water was leaking or what was going on. I had an appointment with my Dr. the next day (which was my due date) so I thought that I would just wait until then. But luckily I called my sister Ashly and told her what was going on and she thought that I should call my Dr. and see if they could see me immediately. So I called my Dr.'s office and my Dr. wasn't in, but her nurse told me that I needed to go to the hospital and they would check there. If my water was leaking then I needed to have Elliana within 24 hrs. Anyways so I called Zack at work and told him that the nurse said that we needed to go to the hospital. So he came home and we got all ready to go. We weren't even going to bring all of our hospital stuff because I really thought they were just going to send us home and that there really wasn't anything going on. But we went to the hospital, and when they checked me and they were like "Oh yep you're staying, your water is ruptured." And then it was real. Zack and I just looked at each other and knew that everything was really happening and that we were going to have our baby soon. Then we called all of our family and my mom and Zacks mom flew in from UT to be with us. Thank goodness, because honestly I don't think I could have done what I did if my mom wasn't there. 

I had decided early in my pregnancy that I wanted to try and have this baby naturally. That was our plan, but man was it harder then I thought. So, after they had checked me my contractions started. They weren't too intense and at that point I was feeling pretty confident that I could do this. They were pretty consistent and and the nurse said that they might not have to put me on pitocin because my contractions were so consistent. That was my hope because I had heard that if I was going to try this naturally that getting pitocin would make it a lot harder. Well after a couple of hours they saw that I wasn't dilating as fast as they would have liked so... they started me on pitocin:(

That was about 1 in the afternoon on Tuesday the 27th. Then my contractions got more intense and more intense. As the hours went on I kept thinking with all of these contractions and all of this pain surely there has to be some progress and I have to be dilating. Haha, nope hours would go by and the nurse would check me and she would say "You're about a good 2." Ahh that was the worst! I remember thinking, oh my gosh this is never going to end. So they kept upping my dosage of pitocin. Then finally they had me on the max dosage that they could give me and had to call my Dr. to get permission to keep upping it! Painful! That's all I can say. Every 2 minutes I would have the most intense contractions and I never got a break. Finally around 11:00 that night I was able to get in the shower and labor for a couple of hours in there. That really helped me relax a lot and took a tiny little bit of the edge off. 

Oh I forgot to mention that the night before I didn't sleep well and had been up since 4:30, and in the morning all I had to eat was a piece of toast. While you're in labor you can't eat anything, and if you're going natural you can't sleep either... so by midnight that night to say I was exhausted is an understatement. I was so tired and depleted of energy that I could barely lift my eyelids let alone talk. I was able to drink some juice a little bit but that didn't stay down long:) Anyways as the hours went on I slowly, slowly progressed. Then around 4:30ish I was finally at a nine and I had to push. My body literally had to push. I'll spare you some of the details, but it was just intense. So for hours I had been on the max dosage of pitocin and for anyone who has ever felt that you'll know what I'm talking about. They say that a natural contraction is like a hill, and a contraction on pitocin is like a steep mountain. Not to undermine a natural contraction at all, it's just a lot more intense. They had to take me off it for an hour because her heart rate kept dropping, but then they put me back on it. So anyways it was time to push. Everytime a contraction came on I would tell them and everyone would get in position and I would push. It was hard. I pushed for about 45 minutes.  Then finally, time stood still and my baby came! Within seconds I felt the most pain I have ever felt in my entire life and then the most joy I have ever experienced. Zack cut the cord and then they laid Elliana right on me. For several minutes I got to just hold her and cry and talk to her. It was like there was no one else in the room, just her and I. I'm in tears just writing about it. It was some of the best minutes of my life. this is a picture of that exact moment!

 It was so surreal. I was so relieved in that moment that she was here and healthy and that my labor was finally over. I felt so accomplished and SO exhausted! She was finally here! Then after a couple of minutes, she pooped on me and then they took her and started cleaning her off:) 

I love her so much its incomprehensible.
I am so grateful for all of the love and support I felt through this whole process. I am so grateful for Zacks dad and Mary and for ALL that they did for us during this time. For Zack's mom for flying out and being by our side the whole time. I'm so grateful for my mom. For her amazing ability to help me through labor. She kept me focus and calm and really should be a labor coach :) This obviously wasn't her first time doing this and I know it wont be her last. I am so grateful for all 3 of those amazing women; Mary, Leisa and my mom. I am so amazed that all 3 of them delivered some of their children naturally. I have such a deeper respect for all mothers, and am grateful that all 3 were by my side for this miraculous event. And I am especially grateful for my dear husband. He was by my side the entire time. He was my ALL through this whole process. He kept me going and let me know the whole time how much he loved me. I could just look at him and find strength to keep going. I love him so much.

We had decided a couple of months ago to move back to Utah soon after Elliana was born. So when she was almost 2 weeks old, we packed up the rest of our stuff (most of it we moved up a couple of weeks earlier) and drove from Arizona to Utah. It was so bittersweet. We have absolutely LOVED living in arizona and spending time with Zack's family there. It was hard to leave, but luckily we will be seeing all of them soon:)

It took us a while to unpack, I wasn't in any rush, and now we are finally settled. Elliana's almost a month already! Time has flown by. I love her more and more as the days go by and I feel so blessed that she is such a good, happy and healthy baby. 

A few Christmas thoughts!

So, still no baby! Against all of my pleas, our baby girl is still content with just being inside of mommy. I thought when I went to the dr. 2 weeks ago and had that progress that I would be the exception to the rule and that things would go quickly for me... haha I was wrong. Last week there wasn't much news, I was just dilated to a 1 which means pretty much no change:( My official due date isn't until the 28th but my original due date was the 18th, so I was hoping that I would have her then, but looks like we still have a bit to go. Now I'm just trying to hold on and NOT, yes that's right, not have her this week. I would feel so bad if she was born on Christmas! I already feel bad that she's due so close to Christmas, but if she was born ON Christmas it would just be hard.  I'm going to the dr. again in a couple of days and we'll see if there's any progress this week:) 

Anyways with Christmas less than a week away I wanted to share some thoughts:

*Our Christmas this year is a little over shadowed by everything else. We decided that this year Christmas was going to be small. Few gifts and even fewer decorations. We actually only have a foot and a half tall tree on our table and that's all! Which makes me a little sad because I love decorating for Christmas. Its one of my absolute favorite things to do. But this year we didn't see much point in putting everything up. First of all we are moving back up to Utah soon after our baby is born and have already moved half of our stuff up there and I sent all of our decorations up. I just didn't want to have more to take down and pack once we had our new baby and everything. So it doesn't really feel like Christmas in our home and honestly all of our thoughts have been consumed with our baby. 

*However, although this Christmas does not have many material things, this Christmas has never had so much meaning to me. Being pregnant at this time of year has totally changed my thoughts about everything. 

First of all, I know why Mary went into labor:) She had to ride a donkey from Nazareth all the way to Bethlehem! That's why she went into labor that night and they couldn't wait for the next day to try and find an Inn that had room. They needed something right then. So... I guess that's what I should do. I need to find a donkey and ride it through a rocky terrain all day long. Then, maybe then, I would go into labor:)

Second, on a more serious note, my love and adoration for Mary has grown immensely. I love Luke 1:28 what the Angel says about her. "Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women... " What a remarkable, humble and faithful woman she must have been. Right now especially I am feeling a tiny, little bit of what she must have been feeling like. I can not hear the song Breath of Heaven without crying now. I love the part that says, "I offer all I am, for the mercy of your plan." I think being pregnant is literally offering every physical thing that you can as a woman. Giving everything that she had, probably so afraid and just trusting in God's plan. What an example she is to me. I can not imagine the heartache she had to endure as a mother. She was a "chosen vessel." 

And lastly, the TRUE meaning of Christmas. I've always heard that phrase and always tried my best to remember the true meaning of Christmas, but this year I feel like I really do understand it better. Yesterday in church we had a lesson on exaltation. Our teacher gave us all a notecard and asked us to write down what we would change about our lives if we knew that Christ was coming in exactly 6 months. What we would want to take out or add more of or what we would like to change about ourselves to feel worthy to be with Him and to obtain exaltation. I always feel like those questions are super daunting and overwhelming, but I tried to focus on honestly what I would change. I made a list and believe me if we would have had more time I could have filled a novel. Then at the end of class, tying it all into Christmas, she had us watch this video, then she asked a question that I had never thought of before. This Christmas, what gift are you giving the Savior? 


I was actually quite happy this weekend because I had finished pretty much all of my Christmas shopping. I was feeling on top of everything and thought I had bought everyone a gift that I needed to. But I had never stopped to think about giving a gift to my Savior. Then our teacher suggested that we look at the list we had made and that this year for Christmas we give Him one thing on that list. And that resonated so deeply with me. The whole reason we have this season is to celebrate the birth of our Savior. I get so caught up in buying gifts for everyone that I didn't even think to give a gift to the one who gave me everything! I felt so selfish and committed to giving Him one thing on the list that I had made. I know my insignificant gift can never repay Him for all that He has done for me. I have been so immensely blessed the last couple of months. There have been so many miracles and answered prayers and so many little things the Lord has done to show me He loves me. I hope that by giving this gift I can show Him how much I truly love Him.

I can't eloquently put into words how much all of this means to me. But I am so grateful for this Christmas season and the time that I have to reflect on what a special event that day was. 

Finally some progress:)

Yahoo!! Just got back from the Dr. and there was some good news today... Well first of all I'm 37 weeks and finally feel like I can breath. Over Thanksgiving break I was just sooo uncomfortable. She was completely in my ribs and I could not breath deeply, cough, laugh or sneeze without wincing in pain. My ribs just felt like they were about to break and my baby sure loved kicking them. This last couple of days though, I have noticed a considerable difference. I can breath! It's soo nice! Also lately I have been having quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions on a daily basis. They aren't painful, but definitely interesting. 

Today I went in for my weekly check up and the Dr. said that I am actually 70% effaced and that she's in about -1 position! It was so nice to hear. Just last week at my appointment my Dr. said everything was still where it should be and there wasn't any news. I loved hearing that there was progress. I know especially when its your first that things tend to go a lot slower and that I could stay like this for a couple of weeks... but it just gives me hope and lets me know that the end is near:) So exciting!!! Oh and BOOYAH!!! (that's for Derrick)

Also here are some maternity pictures that we took a little bit ago with our Aunt Katie! Thanks so much Katie:)

I definitely am bigger now and just waiting for when she decides to come:)